Two Words Doctor’s (& Insurance companies) Hate: Juicing & Miracles Part 4

Today at my Women’s Bible study I realized that I need to stop wasting my energy trying to control people and my circumstances, and redirect that energy into controlling my negative thinking.

Thank God for His gentle reminders! Now if only doctors and insurance companies operated in that same faith. I wrote previously about how God’s healed me, and ever since I’ve been in a battle trying to prove to these companies that I no longer should have these diagnoses in my medical records.

My husband and I are trying to be responsible parents and set up life insurance for our son, and apparently his very life isn’t proof to them that I don’t have these issues anymore.

I had a colonoscopy done again because of unpleasant side effects of child bearing and the results even showed there was no sign of the previously diagnosed Colitis, yet they won’t take it off my records.

Side note: I scheduled the colonoscopy before praying. Lesson learned. As soon as my friends and I prayed, the discomfort went away and hasn’t come back.

Now, I just found out, after such an encouraging morning at church, that I must prove the brain tumor isn’t there anymore. On my own dime, which is over $5000 for just an MRI by the way, I must get labs, an MRI and visual tests to show evidence it’s “under control.”

Although by nature I am extremely irritated about this delay, after such an incredible morning, I just keep telling myself that it’s not in my control.
This is when I need to pray and know that God is in control. I’m praying that insurance will take care of the expenses and that this “proof” will be used to show someone God’s amazing love and power over circumstances that seem impossible.

Like I was reminded this morning, God has a plan and a purpose for my life. It’s one more opportunity to surrender, let go, and let God!

Until my munchkin’s next nap, I hope my lesson of the day finds you encouraged in whatever circumstances you’re facing. Just remember, our thoughts about ourself and what’s happening around us have the power to either bring destruction or bring life and healing to the situation. I choose the latter. Be blessed today!

20130926-135204.jpg

Anniversary Weekend

This month we celebrated 4 incredible years of marriage. My writing is mostly about my family and mommy experiences, so I thought I’d share some family photos from our celebration. Coronado Beach, San Diego Zoo & of course we made time for burgers at Slaters 50/50 (yes! That’s 50% bacon/50% beef! Sometimes we ditch the healthy options😊)

20130914-215313.jpg

20130914-215333.jpg

20130914-215347.jpg

20130914-215359.jpg

20130923-112622.jpg

Two Words Doctors Hate: Juicing & Miracles Part 3

If you’ve read the preceding posts then you can skip the next paragraph, but if not, you should read them, but let me give you a quick synopsis:

…I suffered most of my life from a chronic digestive disorder called Microscopic Colitis. God healed me in early 2010, almost four years ago. Don’t run! Read! It’s an incredible story; it’s hard for me to believe it too sometimes!

Six months before I was healed of the Colitis, I was told I had a brain tumor that would prevent me from having kids. About a year later, I had these weird, hard grape-size bumps growing under the skin on my hands and sharp shooting pains through my wrists. I slept with braces on my wrists every night to alleviate the pain. I’m a hair stylist, so these were not good signs for the longevity of my career, or being a mom for that matter. It would be a little difficult to cradle a baby with that pain.

After x-rays, labs, cortisone shots from Hell, and two MRIs, nothing was showing up…yet, you could visibly see them. So, here’s that crazy story…

My Miracle:

It was December 14, 2008, a beautiful, hazy, winter morning in the Bay Area of California as we drove to the Napa Valley. We arrived. Joseph Kazarian walked me through the beautiful rock garden of Domaine Chandon. He stopped on the bridge crossing the pond. With dew on the wild flowers all around and a slight morning mist, he got on one knee and ask me to be his wife.

…In his version, he studder-stepped, fell to a knee, and said, “Bbbbllluueeehhh?”

Either way, I cried. Nodded. Said, “YES!” Reached with both hands toward the ring and asked, “Can I put it on?” We started our day with a toast of our favorite Champagne Sparkling Wine, Riche, and made phone calls to the family.

I’ve always wanted to be be a wife! A Mom! Have a family!! No, I was not the crazy girl who chased boys to make this happen quickly. Well, I kind of did chase boys in Jr. High, but that doesn’t count. And I was young when we got married. However, I had my fair share of unhealthy dating relationships to prove I was ready. Do I have you convinced?

Anyways, I can’t help that God blessed me with an incredibly Hott man who is hilarious, driven, motivated, can cook, but most importantly loves God and cherishes me!

Let the wedding planning begin…

Fast forward to June: we decided to move back down to Southern California, where we met and he grew up, to start our lives together. This move was to take place the weekend of my bridal shower.

As if wedding planning and moving weren’t enough…here’s what happened the week before moving:

Late Tuesday night (sorry about the next detail), I started lactating. Ok, so if you don’t know, that’s only supposed to happen when you’re pregnant or breast feeding obviously. We were waiting until we got married for certain things, so I knew I was not pregnant!

I got labs results by Friday, suggesting a tumor, and I needed an MRI immediately. We decided to have me stay in town for further tests to avoid switching doctors, hospitals, etc. I put on my happy face for my bridal shower Saturday evening, and Joseph did the 400 mile move Sunday with his parents, but without me.

I get my MRI, make all the crazy calls to change my doctors, and schedule an appointment with my new doctor to find out the results.

Pituitary Micro-adenoma: aka a small tumor on my brain.

Three weeks before our wedding, I’m sitting in the doctor’s office with my fiancé and soon-to-be Mother-in-law, or Mother-in-love as she likes to say, and the doctor says in an unsympathetic, matter-of-fact tone, “With this tumor, you won’t be able to get pregnant.”

Immediately, without control, tears start flowing down my face. It was nothing I could fight back. I was not blubbering; I simply just had my dreams ripped from my heart in front of the man who was making these dreams come true; tears were not an option, they just were.

“Well,” says the doctor, “you clearly are a little high strung. I’ll step out and give you a minute to calm yourself down.”

“I’m not high strung, you just told me I’m infertile!”

…He walked out as we all stared dumbfounded at each other. I started medication the next day that would “regulate” the size of the tumor, and was monitored every six months after that with labs and visual field tests to make sure the tumor didn’t grow.

…moving forward to March 2012…

I was half-way through the intern program at our church. A decision I made for personal and spiritual growth. One of the best choices I’ve made in my life!!!

[Insert necessary, but dramatic rabbit trail:] That lost, buried little girl who didn’t even know her true self, began to emerge from the dark hole she had dug for herself. That first sight of light is hard to look at sometimes. With squinted eyes, that bright, white light slowly turns to colors and images that make sense; so my soul was transformed. Oh, the sweet taste of oxygen again. Breathe!

It was conference time, and as I was praying for people, the guest speaker, Pastor Andrew Kubala asked, “Is there someone here who has had wrist issues?” I immediately start looking around, excited for what God’s going to do in someone’s life.
…no response…
…he asks again…
…I wait…

My mentor was standing a few feet behind me and assertively, but gently says, “WRISTS!!” There’s my reminder.

Oh, ya, that’s me. He’s talking about me! I, like most people (despite my previous healing), had resolved to the idea of living with pain.

How stupid! God is loud and clear,in a microphone, through a pastor, trying to get my attention, and I almost ignore it.

I slowly slip my hand into the air. He has me come up on stage to pray with me.

As if reading out of my diary, Pastor Kubala begins to speak words of healing over my life. I immediately feel an overwhelming warmth flow through my arms, wrists, hands, and every knuckle. As he prayed I watched the bumps disappear. I felt the pain leave my wrists. For the first time in six months I had full rotation of my wrists. I stood on awe.

Then, he looks at me and says, “Danielle, God wants you to believe him for more than just the physical healing we can see. There’s more healing He wants to do for you, but you need to have faith that He will.”

I knew he was talking about the tumor (let me remind you that he knew nothing about it, hardly anyone did, he didn’t even know me); I stopped the medication that night.

April 10, 2012 I looked up at Joseph from across the room in shock and said, “It’s a plus sign.”

“So…that’s a yes?”
“Ya, I guess so.”
“So…you’re pregnant?”
“I guess that’s what that means.”
“Uh, should we go get dinner.”
“Ya, let me make some calls first.”

Don’t get me wrong, we were both excited, but sometimes when a miracle happens, it’s really hard to believe!

I called my best friend, who I call my sister, and I called my sister, who I call my friend. Joseph and I processed the information through awkward dialogue over dinner. We told our parents the next day, and the rest of our worlds after that.

December 11, 2012 Daniel Robert was born 8 lbs 8 oz, 21 inches long. Our Miracle!

Nine months later, I still look at Daniel every day in awe and humility. When he smiles he radiates God’s joy, and I can’t help but be reminded of God’s grace in my life.

Until my munchkin’s next nap: Thanks for letting me take you through that journey. I hope it brings light, encouragement, and healing into areas of your life as well. Don’t be afraid to have a little faith.

Have you experienced a miracle?
What’s your story?

20130912-225457.jpg

Living on Purpose

My munchkin is 9 months old today! Nine months on 9/11/13.

Last night was one of those sleepless nights that mom’s often have with their babies. One of those nights where we woke up every two hours from either teething pains, a bad dream, or hunger. One of those nights where the only person who could soothe those pains and fears is, “MaMaMaMaMaMa!” Yes, that’s my name!

As I collapsed into bed each time, after being startled awake and comforting my munchkin for 20-40 minute sessions , I prayed I would fall back asleep quickly to savor the few minutes of shut-eye I hoped for.

Along with not sleeping much through the night, we were wide awake two hours earlier than normal.

As I peeled myself out of bed I realized a very important detail about today: My munchkin is 9 months old on 9/11.

Like most people in The United States of America, I know exactly where I was, what I was doing, and every specific detail of that day.

You might be thinking, “How do these two topics share any relevance to each other?” Let me tell you…

My son is growing faster than I can blink my eyes. As hard as it was to wake up this morning I couldn’t help but think of those precious moms, dads, sons, daughters, grandmas, grandpas, aunties and uncles and cousins that were on those planes that early morning twelve years ago.

Who did they rock to sleep the night before? Who did they kiss goodbye before walking out the door? Did they wake up exhausted, in distain, from no sleep? Did they say words or think thoughts they wished they could take back had they known how the next few hours would play out? Did they whisper softly in someone’s ear, “Goodbye, I love you!” like my husband did before leaving for work this morning?

I’ve always tried to live each day with a purpose, but today more than ever I’m reminded to take my thoughts captive. I’m reminded to smile, stretch, get up, have a good attitude, enjoy each moment, love, say, “I love you!” Because I don’t know what tomorrow brings. I’m not fearful because I’m confident in where I will be for eternity. However, if today is my last, I want everyone in my life to know how much they mean to me. I want to enjoy my son each milestone of his journey. When I’m gone I want my friends and family to know that I lived each day learning from my past, preparing for the future, and relishing the present!

My heart and prayers go out to all who loved and lost victims of 9/11.

Until my munchkin’s next nap time: enjoy each moment, be careful what thoughts you entertain and what words you speak. Live with love. Live with purpose. Love on purpose. As always, don’t forget to smile, you might just make someone’s day; what if its their last?

I love this picture! Here’s me being present with my gift present🙂

20130911-173009.jpg