If you’ve read the preceding posts then you can skip the next paragraph, but if not, you should read them, but let me give you a quick synopsis:
…I suffered most of my life from a chronic digestive disorder called Microscopic Colitis. God healed me in early 2010, almost four years ago. Don’t run! Read! It’s an incredible story; it’s hard for me to believe it too sometimes!
Six months before I was healed of the Colitis, I was told I had a brain tumor that would prevent me from having kids. About a year later, I had these weird, hard grape-size bumps growing under the skin on my hands and sharp shooting pains through my wrists. I slept with braces on my wrists every night to alleviate the pain. I’m a hair stylist, so these were not good signs for the longevity of my career, or being a mom for that matter. It would be a little difficult to cradle a baby with that pain.
After x-rays, labs, cortisone shots
from Hell, and two MRIs, nothing was showing up…yet, you could visibly see them. So, here’s that crazy story…
It was December 14, 2008, a beautiful, hazy, winter morning in the Bay Area of California as we drove to the Napa Valley. We arrived. Joseph Kazarian walked me through the beautiful rock garden of Domaine Chandon. He stopped on the bridge crossing the pond. With dew on the wild flowers all around and a slight morning mist, he got on one knee and ask me to be his wife.
…In his version, he studder-stepped, fell to a knee, and said, “Bbbbllluueeehhh?”
Either way, I cried. Nodded. Said, “YES!” Reached with both hands toward the ring and asked, “Can I put it on?” We started our day with a toast of our favorite
Champagne Sparkling Wine, Riche, and made phone calls to the family.
I’ve always wanted to be be a wife! A Mom! Have a family!! No, I was not the crazy girl who chased boys to make this happen quickly. Well, I kind of did chase boys in Jr. High, but that doesn’t count. And I was young when we got married. However, I had my fair share of unhealthy dating relationships to prove I was ready. Do I have you convinced?
Anyways, I can’t help that God blessed me with an incredibly Hott man who is hilarious, driven, motivated, can cook, but most importantly loves God and cherishes me!
Let the wedding planning begin…
Fast forward to June: we decided to move back down to Southern California, where we met and he grew up, to start our lives together. This move was to take place the weekend of my bridal shower.
As if wedding planning and moving weren’t enough…here’s what happened the week before moving:
Late Tuesday night (sorry about the next detail), I started lactating. Ok, so if you don’t know, that’s only supposed to happen when you’re pregnant or breast feeding
obviously. We were waiting until we got married for certain things, so I knew I was not pregnant!
I got labs results by Friday, suggesting a tumor, and I needed an MRI immediately. We decided to have me stay in town for further tests to avoid switching doctors, hospitals, etc. I put on my happy face for my bridal shower Saturday evening, and Joseph did the 400 mile move Sunday with his parents, but without me.
I get my MRI, make all the crazy calls to change my doctors, and schedule an appointment with my new doctor to find out the results.
Pituitary Micro-adenoma: aka a small tumor on my brain.
Three weeks before our wedding, I’m sitting in the doctor’s office with my fiancé and soon-to-be Mother-in-law, or Mother-in-love as she likes to say, and the doctor says in an unsympathetic, matter-of-fact tone, “With this tumor, you won’t be able to get pregnant.”
Immediately, without control, tears start flowing down my face. It was nothing I could fight back. I was not blubbering; I simply just had my dreams ripped from my heart in front of the man who was making these dreams come true; tears were not an option, they just were.
“Well,” says the doctor, “you clearly are a little high strung. I’ll step out and give you a minute to calm yourself down.”
“I’m not high strung, you just told me I’m infertile!”
…He walked out as we all stared dumbfounded at each other. I started medication the next day that would “regulate” the size of the tumor, and was monitored every six months after that with labs and visual field tests to make sure the tumor didn’t grow.
…moving forward to March 2012…
I was half-way through the intern program at our church. A decision I made for personal and spiritual growth. One of the best choices I’ve made in my life!!!
[Insert necessary, but dramatic rabbit trail:] That lost, buried little girl who didn’t even know her true self, began to emerge from the dark hole she had dug for herself. That first sight of light is hard to look at sometimes. With squinted eyes, that bright, white light slowly turns to colors and images that make sense; so my soul was transformed. Oh, the sweet taste of oxygen again. Breathe!
It was conference time, and as I was praying for people, the guest speaker, Pastor Andrew Kubala asked, “Is there someone here who has had wrist issues?” I immediately start looking around, excited for what God’s going to do in someone’s life.
…he asks again…
My mentor was standing a few feet behind me and assertively, but gently says, “WRISTS!!” There’s my reminder.
Oh, ya, that’s me. He’s talking about me! I, like most people (despite my previous healing), had resolved to the idea of living with pain.
How stupid! God is loud and clear,in a microphone, through a pastor, trying to get my attention, and I almost ignore it.
I slowly slip my hand into the air. He has me come up on stage to pray with me.
As if reading out of my diary, Pastor Kubala begins to speak words of healing over my life. I immediately feel an overwhelming warmth flow through my arms, wrists, hands, and every knuckle. As he prayed I watched the bumps disappear. I felt the pain leave my wrists. For the first time in six months I had full rotation of my wrists. I stood on awe.
Then, he looks at me and says, “Danielle, God wants you to believe him for more than just the physical healing we can see. There’s more healing He wants to do for you, but you need to have faith that He will.”
I knew he was talking about the tumor (let me remind you that he knew nothing about it, hardly anyone did, he didn’t even know me); I stopped the medication that night.
April 10, 2012 I looked up at Joseph from across the room in shock and said, “It’s a plus sign.”
“So…that’s a yes?”
“Ya, I guess so.”
“I guess that’s what that means.”
“Uh, should we go get dinner.”
“Ya, let me make some calls first.”
Don’t get me wrong, we were both excited, but sometimes when a miracle happens, it’s really hard to believe!
I called my best friend, who I call my sister, and I called my sister, who I call my friend. Joseph and I processed the information through awkward dialogue over dinner. We told our parents the next day, and the rest of our worlds after that.
December 11, 2012 Daniel Robert was born 8 lbs 8 oz, 21 inches long. Our Miracle!
Nine months later, I still look at Daniel every day in awe and humility. When he smiles he radiates God’s joy, and I can’t help but be reminded of God’s grace in my life.
Until my munchkin’s next nap: Thanks for letting me take you through that journey. I hope it brings light, encouragement, and healing into areas of your life as well. Don’t be afraid to have a little faith.
Have you experienced a miracle?
What’s your story?