“Why can’t days be like this day?” Lily asks me as she points to a picture of her standing at the La Brea Tar Pits in sunny Los Angeles. “We used to always go to places like this, but today has only been partly happy and partly bad.” A typical honest evaluation from the mouth of a unsettled six year old making sense of the world around her. Discontented by why some days are more eventful than others, she’s not thinking “wow! I’m so thankful I have breath today!” or “I’m so thankful I went swimming, played games, finished work, and get to play for a few uninstructed hours before going to my favorite jiu-jitsu class, and finish the day eating my favorite meal cheese enchiladas.” No, she sees a need for change, she wants to make change happen.
I believe God created her to see life through this perspective because she will be a world-changer and difference maker. She does not settle for comfort, as-is, mundane. Yet, as much as she seeks the excitement of adventure, whimsy, and rock-out-music-dance-parties, she also settles for nothing less than well-executed plans, consistency, and acute attention to detail. Her zeal for life often leaves her disappointed when her expectation does not get satisfied EXACTLY how she sees it.
Can you relate? I know I often can. We start our day with exactly the perfect plan in mind only to discover moments in that it’s beginning to go off course. Maybe your friend, Anxiety greets you as you try to navigate back to the check-list. You don’t want to rudely dismiss her, but her presence is not allowing your productivity. In fact, the more you attempt to turn your attention elsewhere, the more you’re reminded of her presence looming closer and closer into your personal space.
“Why is this so hard for me?” We often cry out. “Why can’t I just move on and be flexible? Life requires adjustments, yet one little shift in the “plan” and now we’re no longer “off course”, we’re beginning to derail thinking of how we wanted the day to go, how it was lined up perfectly, how now we’re going to have to change every details to adjust to this one small move.”
This inability to be flexible hit me recently when I had scheduled for my son and daughter to sleep over at a friends. We moved recently and have lots of fun house projects, but I hate that my children’s weekend gets taken over because I have kitchen cabinets to sand and paint. I also am committed to a writing program in addition to the regular full life of a motherhood and loving our community. We had just returned from week vacation and I had a lot of catch-up. Unknowingly my friend offered to watch them overnight that same weekend. Perfect! Rather than sit my kids in front of movies all day, they can go swim and play. “God, thank you for knowing what I need without me even realizing it.” I prayed.
I consulted my husband before making the plans, but in hindsight he was exhausted and not in the frame of mind to think outside of his current moment of rest. Sunday comes around and an hour before he was scheduled to take them so I could write, he gently pulled me aside to discuss having them stay home. He missed us. He wanted family time. And although he still had in mind to work on our projects, he wanted to play with his kiddos in-between. Even as I write this it makes me cringe at my natural close-minded response. I said, “No, it’s not possible.” Sure I made a strong argument that it was inconsiderate to cancel last minute, but I was not considering him. Underneath that rationale was the desire to have it my way. God really did know what I needed, it just didn’t look how I wanted it to look.
When I saw the disappointment on his face, I stepped back and saw his perspective, and eventually cancelled those plans. I wish it ended there. I wish I could say that our day was all sunshine and roses, but the reality was clouded with disappointment and rigidity. Maybe in the past I would’ve kept my narrow focus and not seen his view, so I pause and acknowledge the progress, but still the lingering desire to stick to my plan made for a day filled with egg shells laid out all over our floor as we tiptoed through conversations.
Today, as my daughter longs for resolution to her unsettled emotions, I was reminded of our need to re-calibrate our focus. Calibrate is to “mark (a gauge or instrument) with a standard scale of readings”. It is the process by which we adjust or measure with precision.” I believe we often set about our busy days with our list in front of us with our sights calibrated to the exact outcome we desire. What if our outcome is not the best outcome? What if our desires are not actually the best result? What if there’s a better way? A more productive process? A more efficient solution? A discovery that we actually cannot do the day on our own? A way where we learn to acknowledge our challenges and see how others’ strengths can support us?
“The eye is the lamp of the body so then if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light.
But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness.”
-Jesus Christ, Matthew 6:22
“Do you know what focus is, Lily?” I gave her a moment to think and then pulled out my iphone camera, “What do you see in the screen?” In detail she described the floor tom and high-hat from her brother’s drum set. I set my phone aside and asked her the same question. “I see the whole set, Mom! I see everything!” she said with excitement. “That’s right. This camera lens is similar to how we see what’s happening around us. When we put it down, this is kinda how God sees the world around us. What if we stopped in our frustration and disappointments and asked Him to help us see things His way?”
I wish I had taken a moment to apply this strategy with my husband, but I’m thankful for grace and another chance to practice what I learn as I grow.
Maybe today rather than have our eyes keenly focused on our perspective, we try asking God for His lens to replace ours. Maybe we consider asking Him to shed light into how we are seeing our circumstances. Maybe we ask Him to broaden our view. It might seem a little blurry at first, but through active trust and surrender, ultimately our eyes will RE-CALIBRATE to see life by His standard of ability, strength and grace, not by our limitations.
The light of Jesus helps us see clearly. His light makes the darkness of our chaos vanish. Because of who Jesus is and what He has done for us, we can see who we are. He is able; we are capable. He is strong; we have strength. He is grace; we have grace for ourselves and others. We will never fully understand and know everything about life the way God understands; HE is God. However, when we fix our eyes on Him I promise:
Seeing life through God’s lens changes everything.
Evaluate Before You Re-Calibrate
- Do you need to remember to pause today?
- In what circumstances can you ask God to step in and show you a different way to see?
- Is there someone you can call or message who can help you see things differently?
Prayer:
God, thank you for caring about what is happening in my life. Forgive me for trying to control the outcome and not trusting you with the details. Help me see things through your perspective. Fill me with your joy and peace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
danielle_kazarian 